This brilliant post was written by James V. Carroll on Facebook, all credit goes to him. I felt that it truly needed a bigger platform.
We shouldn’t be surprised…
We shouldn’t be surprised that white conservatives still refuse to wear masks even as Americans are dying because they have never experienced daily discomfort like minorities in this country.
We shouldn’t be surprised that white conservatives feel left out when they hear that Black Lives Matter because they’ve been treated like the center of the universe, particularly since the Reagan Era.
We shouldn’t be surprised white conservative moms want schools to open before it’s safe because these same people continue to cry freedom and willfully misinterpret the second amendment while America’s children keep dying in school shootings.
We shouldn’t be surprised that rich, white conservatives are against universal healthcare because most of them will never know the fear of not being able to afford lifesaving care for their families or the lifelong, crushing debt incurred by even substandard care.
We shouldn’t be surprised that white conservatives don’t practice the religion they preach because they continue to vote people into office that pay no mind to whom the Jesus of their Bible refers to as the least of us.
We shouldn’t be surprised that white conservatives label anything inconvenient as fake news while believing the most absurd conspiracy theories because they’ve been denying what the majority of climate scientists have had to say for decades.
We shouldn’t really be surprised by the greed, the bizarre anger, the racism, the sexism, the homophobia, the transphobia, the disdain for the working class, the flippant attitude toward those suffering. The problems of today aren’t an aberration of the republican party under Trump’s policies. They are the natural progression of Reaganomics and the GOP’s Hunger Games type values.
We shouldn’t be surprised by this depravity, but I always am. We’re at a point where we can no longer politely disagree with our oppressors and still retain our dignity and humanity. White conservative Americans are like addicts. Nothing will ever be enough and no disgraceful policy will ever be too far from the values they pretend to hold. They are vultures picking at the less fortunate well before death. Our only defense is to inform ourselves and to vote. We may not get the best champion right out of the box, but we can and must progress while we hold all of our leaders accountable. ☮️
Especially for us older folks, think back to what you were doing and what you got away with before the age of 16. Saying what he did, it’s no different than saying “I’m going to build a bomb and blow up the school”.
I use that example specifically, because a kid I went to school with (I was in 10th with his sister, he was in 9th), blew off most of his hand while building a pipe bomb to blow up the math building because the teacher ruined his perfect 4.0 and gave him a B. This is before the video games, before the mass shootings, before YouTube, before public access to the Internet, Jackass movies, or anything else you want to point a finger at. This happened 38 years ago.
I knew a lot of people who got away with a lot of shit back then (and since) and a few that got caught… including myself. I’m sure that if this exact situation would have happened with any of the other mass shooters, their parents would be saying the same damned thing.
And if he is just blowing smoke and making idol threats like that, he needs to be taught a fucking lesson because clearly, it’s not going to be taught by you. How many times have we seen kids committing suicide only to find out that they were getting messages from others telling them to kill themselves because they’re worthless, etc? And then to have no consequences? I’m sorry, they’re not babies.
How many 15-year-old young adults (because that’s what they are) have already had sex? How many already have children?? Clearly, they’re not babies and have to live with the consequences of their actions, so why shouldn’t a kid who’s threatening to shoot up his school with an M-16?
Our job as parents is to raise functional adults. Period. The quicker people get their heads out of their asses and recognize the responsibility that they volunteered for, the better off this entire country will be. No more “they’re just children…”, “kids will be kids” or “boys will be boys”. These are excuses for bad behavior, and if you are making these excuses for your offspring then clearly you’re not doing your job right. There are three stages of human development, and only three. They are infants, toddlers, and adults-in-training.
Everything they are taught… at home, in school, or by the media (TV, Internet, games, social networks, etc), shape who they will be and how they will be as adults. Our job as parents and mentors, is to teach them, in a safe environment where they can fail and learn from it. Evaluate what they did wrong, change/adjust your methodology, and try again .
“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” is not just Newton’s Third Law of Physics, it’s life. Don’t throw a punch with anything less than the expectation of getting punched back, or suspended, or arrested, or whatever. Everything in life has consequences, some good, some bad, but to let a child grow and learn that they’re immune from consequences is not only irresponsible, it’s dangerous, and it can kill.
Over the years, we’ve seen a lot of progressive changes here in America. While some show us just how far we’ve come, others let us know just how far we still need to go. I was reading the latest piece here on The Kinfolk Kollective (brilliant writer btw, check her out) about Viola Davis and the nonsense (read bullshit) that ensued.
While I did not watch the awards, I saw the immediate spreading the joyous news of Viola Davis’ well deserved win on social media. I think she’s an incredibly talented actor and I was very happy that she received her due in this well earned recognition.
LOS ANGELES, CA – SEPTEMBER 20: Actress Viola Davis accepts Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series award for ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ onstage during the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Later I saw her speech, along with the very short and spread out list of other firsts and I was saddened to realize how little progress we’ve made in this area. To be honest, since I’m not a fan of the awards shows or their history I had no idea until this moment how far behind we were in this arena.
I remember seeing Halle Berry’s acceptance speech in my younger years thinking “cool, we’re there” and being completely oblivious to the fact that we are so far from it in this vein. Viola really hit the nail on the head when she pointed out you can’t win awards for parts not written. It’s a simple problem with a seemingly simple solution. Right?
But of course no one can have their 15 seconds forget 15 minutes, in the sun before critics and assholes feel the need to tear people down with their own Ignorance. This phenomenon was never more apparent than when a Tweet by an unnamed white actress (only because I refuse to offer any publicity with her name attached) who felt that Viola should have allowed someone else to write her speech for her. Are you kidding me?
So here we finally have the first African-American woman in this country to win an Emmy for Best Actress in a Drama, and this person felt, either out of jealousy of the win or personal discomfort because it didn’t align with her life of privilege, that it should have been censored or desensitized for those who prefer to speak out of their asses because their heads are buried deeply in the sand.
If I can offer a brief but meaningful segue – One of my favorite movies is A Time to Kill starring Matthew McConaughey, Sandra Bullock and the ever powerful Samuel L. Jackson. The 1996 movie is based on the book of the same name by John Grisham, and is a story told from the defence attorney’s perspective as he digs deep to defend his client (Samuel L. Jackson) accused of murder after killing the men who repeatedly and brutally assaulted his young daughter. McConaughey’s closing speech as Southern defense attorney Jake Brigance is one that will stop your heart and give you the deepest understanding of racial divide that you never saw coming. If you haven’t seen it, I urge you to watch it here.
After you regain your composure, feel free to join in the singing “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” from the Broadway musical Avenue Q and be sure to invite and include almost everyone you’ve ever known to join you in the chorus. There’s no shame in realizing that down deep you have some racially disparaging leanings at your core. Of course you couldn’t. You didn’t realized that you’ve been groomed this way from birth and while you may wash away some of it, there’s a couple of places you didn’t know were even there.
American society historically has been very racist and it didn’t stop with the end of the Civil War. In fact, slavery didn’t even end with the war. If you’re not familiar with Juneteenth look it up. Don’t be surprised if you’re not familiar with it. It’s an event that is not taught in schools. Why? I don’t know.
I didn’t learn about the racially motivated Internment Camps to restrict the freedoms of Japanese-Americans during World War II either. We learned a fraction of the relocation and atrocities committed against Native Americans by white settlers and Americans, too grievous a list to reference here. Then again until the casinos opened, most folks thought that Native Americans were more historical figures than living peoples. Out of sight, out of mind. I guess that’s what that actress was hoping for with her tweets.
American History books would have us believe that this country was settled in harmony with only a few gunfights, a really cool railroad, the creation of the pony express and some really funny clothes and mustaches, then a few battles as part of the Civil War and once the war was over, we all continued living together happily until the 1950’s when we became a society divided again (for some unknown reason that nobody remembers I’m sure…) leading to Rosa Parks being the catalyst for the Civil Rights Movement with the Montgomery Bus Boycott.
Every generation does a little bit better, but we have to strive for it to keep progressing as parents, as industry, as a society, as a country. Dr King said it best in his historic I Have A Dream speech “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character”. While I have always been moved by, believed in and agreed with that sentiment, we need to remember it just as much now as on that historic day in August 1963 on the the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
I am constantly judged by those who see me as a caucasian woman, when the reality is that I am a genderfluid individual who only racially identifies as human, formerly married to an Afro-Cuban man for 10 years (which was illegal within my own lifetime btw) and is someone who has family and friends in every color of the rainbow and every position along the gender spectrum. That’s not to say I’m not free of prejudice, not even close. What it means that race and gender are not my identity nor is it my sole scope of experience for viewing the world around me; and as I recognize these flaws within myself, that awareness allows me to target it for removal like radiation directed toward cancer cells.. but only if I choose to do so.
Hate is a cancer of the human soul and prejudice is only one of its symptoms. As we’ve seen in the past year racially motivated crime at an all-time visibility. Understand that because of our changes in technology, these injustices are more visible than ever before, and with it comes the demand for accountability and change.
Please recognize that these are far from the only injustices that are occurring. Young vets coming back are dealing with having to fight not only for their earned benefits but the continuing the fight they’d thought they’d left being as it haunts them constantly, creating an unprecedented veteran suicide reaching record numbers that this country has never seen before.
Transgender individuals, both adult and youths are assaulted and murdered daily, make up a majority of the homeless population as backs are turned on them at every turn and maintain a suicide rate of over 40%. These two things in particular you don’t see on mainstream news because they don’t feed the fires of racial tensions and controversy, instead they breed empathy and compassion. That doesn’t sell advertising.
The honest truth of the matter is that it’s going to take many more generations of Americans to water down and weed out experiences known as daily reality for many, many people in this nation both past and present, but it takes work, and a lot of it. There is no room for complacency, the old adage is true “if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”.
We as a nation and a society need to be proactive in repairing the current wounds and old scars of injustice for ALL of our citizens, not just the majority and the underserved need to be sought out. Trust needs to be built, that’s the hardest part, and the nightly news makes sure to work against that because that’s how they get viewers and sell advertising.
So please look to the disparity around you and know that you can be the catalyst for change. Compassion and empathy can make the difference in whether someone continues living or chooses dying. Never forget that Rosa Parks wasn’t some visionary radical, she was a woman tired from a long day at work whose feet hurt. Even the smallest pebbles can create the biggest ripples, you can be a superhero, all you have to do is use your powers for good.
This blog is dedicated to simple living and for me it’s more than just non-toxic cleaners, but non-toxic people as well.
I read a fabulous article today about “The 4 Excuses We Use to Hold on to Frenemies”. A great read, true in every sense. We all have toxic people in our lives at some point. Some are easier to eliminate than others. I think we all get to a certain crossroads with people in our lives where we have to remove them or ourselves for self preservation.
I started a few years back in my own “people diet”, trimming those from my life who generate negativity. My suffering has been minimized and my joys have increased. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to allowing people to treat me badly, so everyone now and again, I have to stop and assess my relationships.
Do I need to give more time and energy to make this relationship work?
Does it cause me or the other person more anguish than joy?
Is this relationship one sided? Am I the only one putting in effort?
This may sound odd, but sometimes you need to evaluate.
I see people every week on Facebook ranting about how they’re tired of “the drama” but won’t take the steps to remove it from their lives or to remove themselves from the situation. Why? Because we’re taught that quantity rules over quality.
I, like most people, have only a handful of people I’m close to, yet according to Facebook I have a couple of hundred friends. In the grand scheme of things, I really don’t care for that word when it comes to online socializing. These folks are not friends, they are my acquaintances; they’re people I’m friendly with but really are not friends with in the truest sense of the word.
My handful of friends are there, through thick or thin, through hell or high water, no matter what and I know it.
I was reminded of that again just last week at my going away party. Of the 80 or so that were invited from my “friends list”, only the handful came. At first it bothered me a bit, until I realized that I was being greedy for quantity over quality. Something we all tend to defer to from time to time even though we know it’s quality that matters.
Those that came are the people I will be coming back to visit and who will coming to see me. We will stay in touch and check on each other because we care that much about each other and their spouses, children, etc. These are the people who can bring a smile to my face sitting in a room next to me not saying a word or who can make me laugh while I’m crying my eyes out and I can do the same for them. These are my friends. These are who matter.
My true friends are the permanent mountains on the landscape of my life. The rest are just clouds… they drift in, drift out, sometimes they make the day pretty and let the sun in, sometimes they block the sun and just bring storms. Funny thing about mountains, they’re always there, always strong. Sometimes the clouds obscure your view of them, but you can have faith they’re right there.
My mountains are the people who never stir drama just to watch others suffer, who only build me up and encourage me. They provide shade and shelter from the storms of my life and strength when I am at my weakest.
Friendship, marriage, relationship… all the same thing really.
They take time and they take work but they are so worth it. Don’t try to appeal to the masses, spend your energy bringing quality to those who bring it to you. Remember that the only person you can force to be a good friend.. is you.
Look at the landscape of your life. Find your mountains and just let the clouds drift by. Enjoy the scenery of your mountain chain and the joy of simple living will be yours.
I was going to share the graphic, along with a few words on Facebook. Those few words trickled out until they hemorrhaged through my keyboard. Sorry for the TMI, but it’s my truth.
So now instead of a few sweet words and a graphic, you get a very real, not sweet moments of my life in a blog Op/Ed. I hope that you can share your truth so that we all stand up for what is being done to us and against us in this moment of history.
– Maggie ॐ
For the woman who has a miscarriage, where the body expels non-viable embryo or fetus, it is called a spontaneous abortion. I wonder how many of these bible banging hypocrites know their wives have had an abortion… against their will at that.
In 2006 I found out I was pregnant, only to miscarry shortly thereafter. It was an ectopic pregnancy which is when the fertilized egg nests in the fallopian tube rather than in the lining of the uterus. Normally an ectopic pregnancy doesn’t miscarry, but rather creates a life-threatening situation where the size of the embryo exceeds the interior width of the tube causing it to rupture and leaving no other choice but emergency surgery and in most cases, having the damaged fallopian tube to be removed.
Mine was unique in that I miscarried before it gained enough size to create the aforementioned situation. Generally, after a uterine miscarriage or abortion, a procedure known as a D&C (short for dilation and curettage) is performed to ensure that the uterus is completely cleared out. In my case, this was not an option because you can’t do a D&C on a fallopian tube, and while my tube had not ruptured, the threat was still there because any “residual cells” could continue to grow and rupture the tube anyway.
My husband and I went home that night from the ER, devastated and grieving for the child we had lost. A child who never got named anything other than “spontaneous abortion”. The following day, we were set to return for their improvisational treatment to address my unique situation, a course of chemotherapy that would retard and eliminate the growth of any “residual cells”.
In one of the cruelest situations of my life, I was to go – not to the cancer ward to have the chemotherapy administered – instead, they sent me to the OB/GYN department, where I got to sit at eye level with every pregnant belly, every inverted turkey-timer looking navel. And just when I thought that fate couldn’t get much crueler, the nurse came over with a clipboard with paperwork for me to complete, one of which was an authorization for an abortion.
The only word that applied then, and now, is “mindfuck”. And the fun was just beginning… I started with the “I’m pregnant” pukies, only to be followed by the “I’m not pregnant anymore” pukies and the “chemotherapy” pukies. And just when you want to crawl inside a hole and die or find some way to hide from the people who knew you were pregnant and now ask how you’re doing… it got worse. I had to go for weekly blood draws to monitor my HCG levels.
HCG is the hormone that is detected in a pregnancy test. You see, my “residual cells” were still causing me to have those. And those weekly blood draws were to make sure that my HCG levels were staying the same or declining because there was still the chance that they could increase. If they did it would mean that my “residual cells” would be increasing in volume and surgery to remove them. 14 weeks. 14 weeks before my HCG levels finally started tapering off and maintained a steady decline.
I was pregnant, had a spontaneous abortion, had to give consent for them to perform an abortion, all while spending 14 weeks waiting to find out when I would finally stop being pregnant. I am pro-choice, but this was not my choice, far from it. The 11-year-old who was raped and is now pregnant, that wasn’t her choice either.
And now she gets to spend every day reliving the horror as her body continues to remind her of the worst day of her life while people force her to endure this day after day. Only for her to finally deliver (c-section would be my guess, 11-year-old bodies aren’t really ready to carry and naturally deliver a full-term child). So even if she is able to deal with the additional anguish of giving the child up for adoption, she’ll have that scar to give her warm memories of happier times, huh?
Silly me, I almost forgot If she does wind up keeping the child, she gets to co-parent with her rapist. Won’t that be fun?
Thanks to all the men who keep making laws about shit you don’t fucking have a clue about and the torture you inflict on others with your overblown sense of morality.
Fuck you.
Now that you’ve read my story, ask yourself where I would be in a state like Alabama if you were the doctor and what would you be allowed to do to treat me.
I mean that truly to be devoid of personal beliefs and judgment, just what you need to do, as a physician, to treat your patient under the mandate that if you perform, aid or assist in an abortion, then you are subject to personal liability and criminal prosecution. Tell me how you would have treated me or better yet if I would have lived.
Also, in the back of your head hold on to the thought that in Mississippi several years back they tried criminalizing abortion to the point that if a woman had a miscarriage that she would be charged with manslaughter.
It’s a very tangled issue, and blanket statements and legalities that don’t accommodate for cases of rape, incest, the viability of the fetus, the overall health and survivability of the woman just confuse and muddy the situation even further.
Abortion is not just some person who was too lazy to take birth control but doesn’t want kids. And for the record, men are largely responsible for unplanned pregnancies.
We’ve all seen the posts that go around Facebook asking if you’ve been in an airplane, have tattoos, etc… I like getting to know my online friends better, but they always seem to have the same questions so I decided to write my own! Feel free to share this post or copy & paste into a post ~ Maggie
SO… A LITTLE ABOUT ME
Do you collect anything now or as a kid?
Music: Singing or just listening?
Can you now or did you used to play an instrument?
What music genres do you like?
Date anyone who made you say “oh hell no”, and run like your ass was on fire?
Your current favorite TV show?
Have you ever cyberstalked anyone?
What movie do you want to see?
Hobbies, Arts & Crafts, what’s your groove?
Where did you go on your last vacation?
Who was the President when you were born?
What did you participate in as a kid?
(Scouting, little league, gymnastics, etc.)
Are you waiting for something to happen?
What is it? Do you have a favorite sports team or athlete?
Will you go to a restaurant alone?
If I handed you $500 to go shopping, what would you buy?
How many cars have you owned?
Can you drive a stick?
What’s the furthest away from home that you’ve been to?
What types of ethnic foods do you like?
What was your worst subject in school?
What kinds “non-supermarket” meat have you eaten?
Have you had any jobs that wasn’t in an office, store, hotel/restaurant/medical/first responder/military?
Do you have any causes that you’re passionate about?
Would you prefer to ride a motorcycle or a horse?
How many US states and/or countries have you been to?
Do you revere any celebrities as mentors?
Are you ticklish? Do you laugh, get angry or cry?
Tea, coffee or both?
Can you eat with chopsticks?
Have you ever…
been to a farm?
gone to a circus?
seen a glacier?
seen a double rainbow?
seen a stage play?
ice or roller skated?
been to an ocean?
been to a historical site?
been to a national park?
found (or been found by) any distant relative?
gone to a casino?
been on a cruise ship or riverboat?
been in a canoe or kayak?
worn formal wear?
volunteered somewhere?
raised money for an organization?
gone camping?
been to a national monument?
seen or walked in a parade?
seen a meteor shower?
accidentally crazy glued your fingers together?
seen an eclipse?
camped in your car?
seen the northern lights?
been in love?
had any unique pets?
seen or been in a natural disaster while it was happening?
I love Robert Reich. He reminds me of the America I lived in and was taught to believe in as a kid. Uncle Sam hasn’t been seen or mentioned for a long time. He’s probably in a corner, medicated for severe depression and anxiety.
Talk to you soon, Maggie ॐ “Art and Giving are Food for the Soul”
I’ve got to say, I was damn near having PTSD flashbacks watching this man walk. That’s exactly what shape I was in twenty years ago. You don’t feel the pain as part of the memory, but you just hunch your shoulders, tighten your muscles and hold your breath due to a combination muscle memory and fear… you fear that pain. Once you know it, there’s no joking about it, and the thought of going back there can be absolutely paralyzing.
The pain was so excruciating, it felt like lightning strikes from even the slightest move in the wrong direction. If you put your right hand on your hip, that little dip where your thumb is resting was the point of origin for the pain and it went straight down my leg.
My primary care doctor just kept handing me pills… 40 mg Oxycontin three times a day, which I kept telling them that they weren’t working, but that was the new miracle drug on the scene then so in their opinion it was about finding the right dosage, no matter how high the dosage or how often it was taken because it couldn’t NOT work; it was a miracle after all, right?
I was given Percocet for breakthrough pain (which was incredibly necessary since it was ALL breakthrough pain!) but still mixed with the Oxycontin I was taking. Parkinson’s meds for the restless leg caused by a herniated disc, Klonopin because the pain caused me to be really anxious (go figure) and a host of more pharmaceutical granola, including the 150 mg of Zoloft I was taking twice a day mainly due to the pain meds and my Depo-Provera shots. I didn’t find out about Depo causing extreme depression until 7 years later.
No one thought to look at my neck even though they all knew what had happened to me in an earlier accident and the damage that was done. It’s been twenty years and I’m still dealing with the nerve and muscle damage in my neck and left trapezius muscle. At least now I know if this ever starts up again that the ice pack needs to go on my neck, not on my the back of my hip.
This really reinforces my dislike for allopathic practices, they treat the symptoms, they don’t work towards finding definitive answers regarding causative issues and never work towards curing or helping the body learn to help itself. Holistic approaches, treating the patient instead of the symptom, homeopathic remedies that take so little to do so much with no side effects, addictions, OD’s, etc. Considering the opioid problem we’re having in this country you’d think they’d shy away from things that are addictive or that you can OD from.
My gallbladder went rogue a couple of years ago and became my enemy. It took me a week of pain so severe that I was ready to die. The pain was so severe that it grossly exceeded my natural childbirth. I had a high fever joined with pain meds which caused me to hallucinate or pass out with horrific nightmares – that included feeling the pain from within the events of the nightmare. If it was a choice of staying in the bed to die or going down the mile long gravel road that rattled your teeth loose that would cause even more pain, I was ready to die in that bed.
I finally had a brief window where the pain had subsided so I asked my roommate at the time to take me to the ER where they admitted me immediately. Once the antibiotics started doing their job, the pain subsided as it should have (thank God!) and I didn’t need a whole lot of pain meds. I asked for a couple Tylenol and was instead given a shot of morphine! Why? Because it was easier for the staff. And again, it was over-medicating instead of dealing with the patient (in this case me) to see what’s going on instead of assuming. I finally told them then to mark my chart to say that I am allergic to morphine to keep them from doing it again.
Watching that video, all I could think was how much pain I would have been spared, how much time that Kid wouldn’t have been so neglected as a result, and that still throws shadows on our relationship to this day. How many people could be treated differently, not only with dignity but in partnership with their doctor to actively work together to solve or treat things to achieve the best outcomes for the patients? I have fibromyalgia and talk to anyone who has it and they can tell you about the disrespect and mistreatment and/or lack of treatment that they have had because of it.
This country needs to stop being grabbed by the ______ from the pharmaceutical companies that want us on multiple pills so they make multiple sales, and push for treatment because a cure doesn’t help their bottom line in perpetuity.
We need to be seen as patients, not as symptoms. We’re not a pile of disconnected body parts, we’re all connected, and it means that we shouldn’t be treated as a series of separate body parts. Maybe then we can return quality of live and work on being a healthier country overall.
“It’s easier to get free wi-fi than it is to get free water and people act like there’s nothing wrong with the world”. – Fidel Littlelight
Rick Wood gives food and water to a homeless man near his tent under an overpass near downtown Birmingham, Saturday, March 29, 2014. (abc3340.com)
Water has turned into a huge commodity. As a former retailer I can tell you that water is one of the most profit bearing items in a store. I used to be able to get cases of water for less than $2 each (making the cost of each bottle roughly 9¢ a piece) and the suggested retail price was 99¢. That’s a heck of a margin huh?
In fact, have you seen a water fountain recently? Probably not. Usually only in schools and hospitals anymore, with an occasional sighting at an office building (leftovers from days gone by). They’re getting harder to find, aren’t they? Now imagine you’re homeless. Where do you get a drink of water?
I understand that even if it’s within your means, many people are not comfortable handing cash to the person with the sign at the intersection and I don’t disagree. Sadly there are scammers out there and there is no way to determine who is legit and who just figure it’s a great way to make a buck.
Shortly after I stopped living in a shelter I was back living with my parents. My mom needed to go for a therapy appointment due to an injury, so I dropped her off and used her truck to go grocery shopping. When I got back, there was a man in the parking lot begging for money from everyone he could find talking about how he, his wife and child were now living on the streets and hungry. When he approached me, I let him know that I had no money but that I had just gotten done grocery shopping and walked him to the back of the truck asking if he had the means to cook and started pulling out groceries for him. He thanked me and turned down my offering of food, then proceeded to go skittering off to the fast food drive thru next door to return to his quest for cash.
Please do not take what I’ve said as a reason to never help someone with a sign. There are many, many needy people who need our help and cities and municipalities are really aiming to put the homeless population out of sight and out of mind. If you haven’t had the opportunity to read my piece on the homelessness – Insights into the Dark – I would ask you to check it out when you have a chance.
I’d like to take this opportunity to challenge everyone who reads this to buy a case of bottled water. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just whatever you can find at the best price, and keep it in a cooler with a little ice. As you’re driving around town doing errands and you see someone with a sign, sleeping on a piece of cardboard or a park bench or under an overpass – offer them a bottle of water. It’s a small kindness that goes an incredibly long way.
I think a case of water at Wal-Mart is around $3.50 and at CVS you can catch it on sale for $2. While you may not be willing to hand someone cash, offering them a bottle of water that cost you 9¢-15¢, that would cost them a dollar or more at the nearest shop is a huge help. Can you think of any other way to help that many people for under four dollars?
It’s a frugal way to help and it’s a great way to help your fellow-man. Thanks for listening.
Today I offer you a poem and a story, and sadly neither are intended to make you smile. There are no pictures and there’s also a good chance that it will probably make you somewhat uncomfortable.
However, uncomfortable is what leads to change. Uncomfortable is what makes us say “no more”. I keep hoping that more people every day will become more and more uncomfortable, so they’ll look outside their comfort zone and see the need around them, and feel compelled to affect change.
Hello, my name is Anna and I’m six years old
I live with my mama and papa
They can’t always afford to feed me as often as they would like
They can’t afford to buy me clothing very often
We don’t have a house, but we have shelter sometimes
I used to have a brother but he died
I love my parents, and I know that love me too
They try so very hard
We are part of your society
a part you either don’t see or won’t see
I probably won’t be here very much longer
I just wanted to say hello
Hello my name is Anna and I’m ten years old
My daddy died, Mama says someone shot him
Mama has lots of friends, she says that’s how she pays the rent
I used to have a brother but he died too,
Mama said we couldn’t feed him anymore
I worry about my Mama she puts needles in herself
But she says” don’t worry baby God is coming for us all”
I know that I’m supposed to believe in God
and I guess I do
I just haven’t seen him in my neighborhood
Mama’s calling for me now I have to go make her lunch
anyway I just wanted to say hello
This was published in 1971 and still brings light to the dark subject of drugs and homelessness. This book can be read here online or it can be downloaded
Hello, my name’s Anna and I’m fifteen.
I know what my mama did to raise me,
I understand now because I have a daughter now
and I call her Ella… I’d do anything to make sure that she has enough
food and clothes, but things keep getting in the way.
it’s so expensive, and they want so much from me.
I love my little girl but sometimes when she cries when she’s hungry
I just want to get away…
so I do…
Hello, My name is Ella or so I’m told,
they said that my Mama named me after my grandma,
but I never knew her
They tell they she loved me very much
but I never knew
I should have had a daddy
but they never knew
They are closing the home tomorrow
because they have no money
I ask where will I go
but nobody knows
Hello, My name is Ella and I’m 12 years old,
for as long as I can remember
I’ve been sold from pimp to pimp for cigarettes or pool wagers or on a whim,
I am chattel, I am worthless.
I don’t even care enough to despair
DsHello, My name is Ella
I’m a corpse under a bridge,
I’ve been here for weeks
and no one seemed to notice,
I wonder why that is
~ Anonymous
I lived with a woman named Susan in the homeless shelter I stayed in, along with her husband Dave and their daughter, April (she was 8 maybe?). Dave had a massive stroke that left him confined to a wheelchair, having to be fed and changed, and unintelligible speak to anyone other than his wife or daughter. In fact, everyone originally thought he was her father because he had aged so much from all that he’d been through medically. Sadly she didn’t know enough to apply for social security.
They were a single income household and Susan stopped working when she found out that she was pregnant. They lost their home, most of their possessions, their cars. And now Dave was an invalid who couldn’t take care of himself. With limited skills and experience, the only place that would hire her was McDonald’s. Susan would take care of Dave as soon as they woke up, along with getting April off to school. Susan would leave to go to work, then when April came “home” after school, then she’d be her dad’s caretaker until Susan got “home” around midnight, walking both ways because the car they had been living in had been repossessed.
On the way “home” one night Susan was stopped by three rough looking men, one of which had been kicked out of the shelter previously for being an asshole, and he blamed her. She had asked him to watch his mouth around her daughter and he wouldn’t and got nasty with her, so she told the guard and asked that he try to handle it.
Then he got into it with the guard and started an altercation, needless to say, he was out for good. Not necessarily a good thing in Colorado in the winter(oh well); he brought it on himself but of course he blamed everyone but himself. So here she was, alone, walking “home” and suddenly surrounded by these three street thugs. The one with the vendetta and two of his buddies. They decided to drive train on her because gang-rape is a worthy punishment for asking the guard to make you stop talking in 4-letter words around someone’s young daughter.
I couldn’t sleep at night back then either so I was wide awake as always when she came in later than usual. Her hair messed up, her uniform was a mess, dirty, ripped in places with some blood on it, and a face that was stained with tears. We all knew something was wrong, and it wasn’t hard to tell what that something was.
We tried suggesting to her to go to the hospital to get checked out, but she refused, almost in a panic attack, saying that she couldn’t go because if they admitted her, then that would leave her 8-year-old daughter there to take care of her father, and not only was that not something she wanted to do to April. The big problem was that because since neither April or David was self-sufficient, not only would they not be allowed to stay at the shelter, but children’s services & adult protective services could be called to take both of them away.
A couple of us asked her if they could help her get cleaned up, We all offered to help her family in her absence, I even told her that I’d drive her so that everyone wouldn’t be nosy if an ambulance showed up, but she just said, “no, I just need to be with my family right now”. And just as Susan said, she climbed into her bunk between her daughter and her husband and cried all night. The next morning she told David what happened, we could see it in his face when she told him. He sobbed for 3 days straight
Her pants were ripped pretty badly when she was attacked, so we all chipped in to buy her a new pair of work pants so she could still work. By dinner time the next day, the entire shelter knew what happened. After that, the guards let a couple of the guys out each night so they could walk her home.
Lockdown was at 10, lights out at 10:30. And if you didn’t have a pre-authorized pass signed by your employer, it didn’t matter if you had Jesus himself with you for backup, and you *still* weren’t getting in. The guards couldn’t leave while they were on duty but would let the (rougher) guys go out every night passed lockdown so they could go get her and bring her back. And the guys all took turns, this way if anyone was watching they’d know that there were more than two guys backing her up.
Sunday night was something that well all looked forward to. That’s when we all went to Church in Manitou Springs, where they served dinner… real food, not the crap we were used to. You had to be there on time because they only had so many portions. The soup kitchen in town had those big giant pots, and if they had a significant amount left, it went into tomorrow’s meal, but not at the church in Manitou Springs. It was good food, sometimes it was the only good thing that happened to us for the whole week.
I still had my car, a small Chevette knockoff. I would earn gas money from people to take them places. On Sunday nights it was great because I was always guaranteed to get three guys in the back seat, with me & my boyfriend up front with me. They all gave me $5 each and gas was still 99¢ a gallon back then so it was a great income for someone who couldn’t find a job. I also did it for the ones who went to the plasma center during the week because they were not up to walking back. I lost my job because they found out that I was living in the shelter so this was the only money I was making, by being a taxi to my fellow “shelter rats” (as we were called).
Anyway, we all were sitting down with our plates… it was loud, filled with happy talk because of a real meal and a change of scenery, dishes, silverware, and glasses all clanking and banging. The pastor would have everyone bow their heads and he’d say grace then we could eat. Well he said grace, we dug in and within a few minutes, you could hear a pin drop.
“…and then the angels of justice and mercy came for Susan.”
It was about a month after Susan was attacked and the three guys that raped her made the mistake of coming into the Church basement for dinner. The two guys behind him knew their world was going to change when they turned around to leave and there were two guys barring the door. The leader, I don’t remember his name from 31 years ago, but I do remember his face. He was the blackest person I’d ever seen. Skin the color of espresso, the only thing that gave him away in the dark was his teeth and his eyes. He was wearing a black leather jacket and black pants which gave away how he got around at night (like a ninja) and on his shoulder a heavy chain with a metal padlock on it.
The pastor came out and asked what was going on and one of the guys told him. He looked at those three, grossly outnumbered and said, “I’m sorry we’re full and there’s no more to eat” (which was true) but elicited a very forceful no. The pastor told him “Well then, I’m sure the boys will you help you find the way to your car.” The guy spoke up telling the Pastor that he didn’t have a car. So the pastor glossed over his response and said “God doesn’t care if you have a car or not, he cares about *other* things like how you live, how you treat people, and so on. Boys, If you wouldn’t mind, could you please take these late-comers out to their car, I have to go check on dessert.”
They hadn’t even made it out of the basement when everything jumped off. He rolled his shoulder to drop the chain to put it in his hand but it got snatched away from him while his face stopped someone’s fist from running away. The guy who grabbed the chain from him swung it…
I was “caught staring with the dumb look” (as we used to call it.) I’d never seen a cheekbone before, or any bone for that matter (other than watching Deliverance, but it was not the same.) I was just completely stunned at just how white it was, but that was of course in contrast with the espresso colored skin and the bright red blood that was now going everywhere. The next blast was a right hook that cold-cocked him. It was at that point when he was dragged out into the parking lot and his friends (who were still conscious at least) took off. When thug #1 came to a couple of minutes later, he was freaking out about how he got there and the amount of blood ( a bit dazed don’t you know) and he got his ass kicked. He suddenly came to his senses, stood up and then took off as quickly as he could like his friends did.
Our guys came back in just as the pastor came out, who took one look at them and said “boys, it was very nice of you to help those gentlemen with their car trouble, but you’ve all gotten so dirty, you need to all come in the kitchen and wash up all of you, you need to be presentable for dinner.” (read: Just in case the police showed up.)
I was there for another couple of months but that guy was never seen around town ever again to my brief knowledge.
I really do hope that Susan and David, along with their daughter April were able to move on and move up. I hope they were given access to the services they needed to survive and with any luck, they were able to get help for all that they had endured.
So, why did I tell you this long-winded story you ask?
The reason for this is to use light to see those who are in the shadows, to see those who are normally invisible to the population as a whole. The homeless are a large part of our country’s landscape as well abroad. We see the pictures of the homeless during the Great Depression. People standing in lines a block long. People living in tents We don’t see that, just the occasional person standing at an intersection with a cardboard sign, we don’t see them. So if there is such a homeless problem, where are they? Why don’t they look the same? Easy, back then are programs now like SNAP, Welfare, and WIC that didn’t exist back then. There were no homeless shelters, just people living in Hoovervilles. No food pantries, no soup kitchens per say, there were soup lines (the bonus there was you could fill a soup pot up so that you could feed your children, and bread lines. Can you imagine?
The problem is that these people along with myself at the time and even now as a disabled person, is that we are/were invisible. I swear, I would love 10 acres of land, cover it with tiny houses, solar panels on every roof, mandatory recycling, a place in the middle with a laundry room and hot showers (just in case you’re too tall or just fluffy like me), wifi for the community, since nowadays places will only take applications online. A community center with a couple of computers for kids to do homework, gather up books for a take a book/leave a book library, the same goes for DVD’s and we would have weekend gatherings so you could get to know your neighbors and further know that you’re not alone, you’re not the only person that this has happened to and you just have to get up, dust yourself off. And they’d all have to pitch in taking care of the community…. emptying trash, raking leaves or cutting grass or shoveling snow, helping someone with a handyman project, etc and with the goal that this is temporary, you get your life back together or create a new one and you move up and let that tiny house help out the next person or couple in need.
Well if anyone has an extra $150K lying around and can’t think of what to do with it, give me a call…
In the meantime, thanks for listening and please, don’t have invisible people surround you. Look for them and you’ll see. And once you see, you’ll have them in your heart and want to help
Maggie's Art & Musings 