Tag Archives: Bullying

Suicide Needs its own first aid kit

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Many of us have been there or know someone who has.  In the US, the national average for suicide is 1.6%, of that there is 5-10% in the gay community, and in the Trans community it’s 42%.

Suicide Prevention Kit
This is a great article listing 18 items to keep on hand that can keep you from sliding further down to the dark side, until you can climb back up again.

 

We, the LGBTQ community, only make up only 4.5% of the population, yet we account for 50% of the suicides. That should scare the shit out of anyone, in the community or not. Bottom line, it’s got to stop.

We know, sadly, that most of these stem from sources such as those in our environment, bullying, lack of acceptance, being outted, as well as organic issues like gender dysphoria, etc.  We need to be there, for ourselves and for our other Rainbow Tribe members.

If you or someone you know who has struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts, having these items, and knowing how they can help, could make the difference between being here and being gone. Lots of loved ones want to help, but don’t know how to. Here’s a great way to help.

 

{{{hugs}}}
Maggie


Why Is The Internet So Personal?

Why do people see something that someone writes and assume it applies to them or go out of their way to apply it to themselves?

Kindness

I’m seriously perplexed about this one.  I’m finding more and more that people seem to find everything as an insult and they go out of their way to find it!  Do you have any guesses?  I know I don’t.

I found this funny video (below) that was shared to a blog for “mommies”.  The person making the video intended it to be a tongue in cheek explanation to their single childless friends as to why she couldn’t just pop out for dinner or coffee like they used to.  Since she put it on YouTube it’s gone viral.  Even though my own daughter is now 23 years old, I still “remember when” and found it not only funny but relevant.  I’ve known even recent friendships that have gone awry because of this very thing.  Lives take on different paths, it happens.

Anyway, it’s a funny look at an overwhelming “Mommy day”.  Comments I saw were outrageous!  People commenting about how if you can’t handle your kids you should get rid of them!  Comments about how the video was “a stab in the heart” to women who can’t have kids.  Comments expressing the resentment of how pregnancy and babies are treated as celebrities in this country. Even comments disparaging the parenting & organizational skills of the woman who made the video!

I don’t understand this.  Why the need for personal attacks?  I know I’m using this as an example, but I think we’ve all seen behavior like this all over on practically every subject so it’s not exclusive.  As far as this example, why go to a site that you’re clearly not interested in or represented by only to be offended because the content somehow makes you feel challenged about your personal life choices?  I don’t know about you but I don’t have to look to find negativity in life, I work to avoid it.

I’m at a loss as to why we can’t just say “I enjoyed that” or just close the page and move on.  If there is the need to post opposing comments, why do they have to be personal attacks?  Why can’t we be nice anymore?  As a nation we’re now regularly talking to kids about bullying on a regular basis, but I don’t see much difference in some of this behavior.  I’m also going to say that going out of ones way to be offended is not being very kind to yourself.  Why would you work to put yourself through that?

Kind to yourself and others

As a blogger, I do hope you enjoy what I write about my life, my experiences, feelings, etc…  I hope we connect and find common ground and can share ideas.  I look forward to comments and suggestions and I must say, I have had some really great feedback. Thank you all so much.

At the same time, if you don’t enjoy what I write, that’s okay too.  I don’t like all blogs or all authors.  It would be foolish to think that everyone who reads what I put out here will fall in love with it.  Even Hemingway was a love him or hate him type of writer.  If you read one of his books and don’t care for it, it would make sense not to read another.  You wouldn’t blast him with letters telling him how badly he sucks as a human being.  (Well he’s dead so I really don’t think he’d get offended, but you get the idea.)

I read a blog post just yesterday from a woman (aptly signed Mama Bear) that was an eye opener.  She’s a single mom whose son works part-time at the local grocery store.  When she picked him up from work she asked how his day went.  He began to tell her how he had a great day, that is until some woman came through his check out line and made a point of letting him know how she noticed his acne… not a passing comment mind you; rather a very pointed, one-sided conversation – all so she could hand him her business card for her skin care products!  While she may have meant well, she pushed so hard for the sale that she never considered putting a teen into a very self-conscious, awkward position as you continued to point out his personal flaws in front of other customers and co-workers.  How considerate!

Just today a friend on Facebook  expressed frustration with someone who had posted something rather controversial. Instead of the original poster defending their position or simply saying “my wall, my views”, the poster chose to mock those that responded with views that countered her own and then deleted them as friends.  Why bait people?  If you don’t want to befriend people of opposing viewpoints then don’t.  Face it, we all know which friends are “with us” on certain topics and who will debate.  If you don’t want to hear from them, why not just say so or unfriend them.  Why make it such and antagonistic event?  I really don’t get it.

So here’s to being nice and to thinking of others before we speak.  I wish you the best in your day and your endeavors.  I support your right to your personal decisions and I hope you have found peace with them.  I hope the happiness you find in your daily life spills over to support and raise up others.  If you’re unhappy, reach out.  We should all be here to help, not to tear others down.

If you need to talk, message me.  No seriously, I’m always happy to lend an ear and to make new connections. Please don’t tear others down.  We’re all humans dealing with pain, challenges and difficulty and we all deserve to be supported and happy.

{{{hugs}}}
Maggie

Save A Number, Save A Life

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

Think about that for a moment and let it sink in.  Violence in relationships is now not only so prevalent that we have a month dedicated to it, but one dedicated to teens.  To me at least, it would seem that would be an indicator that domestic violence is getting worse, not better and that would directly tie in with the bullying epidemic that this country has been dealing with.
148522_460347500487_4657907_nAll children (before they ever become teens) need to be educated and empowered to understand that no one EVER deserves to be hit or intimidated.  Forget the old cliche that a man shouldn’t hit a woman because that one goes right out the window when it’s a same sex relationship or a school bully.  It’s about teaching self worth.  Period.

It’s not only teaching the little girl that if “he” hits you, you should leave, but also teaching the little boy that if “she” keeps pushing you to the point where you want to hit, you need to go.  In both cases, those individuals have issues that need to be dealt with and another victim doesn’t need to be created in the process.

In all cases, children should be taught self love.  They should not be victimized or be a witness to victimization and be made to think that this behavior is normal.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline responds to calls 24/7, 365 days/year, toll free, translations in 170 languages, providing crisis intervention, options for next steps, and direct connect to sources for immediate safety. www.thehotline.org
 

The Hotline is the vital link to safety for women, men, children and families affected by domestic violence. Callers are met with a live voice of a caring Advocate who can help the caller develop a safety plan, see options for hope and can quickly direct-connect callers with sources of help in communities across the U.S. The Hotline is an excellent source of help for concerned friends, family, co-workers and others seeking information and guidance on how to help someone they know. 1 in 4 women is abused, and friends and family are some of the first places they turn for help.

 

A national service, the Hotline receives about 22,000 calls each month and provides a database of more than 5000 agencies and sources of help in communities around the U.S. and its Territories. 

The Hotline provides bilingual advocates (Spanish) when possible and a Language Line with 170 translations. 

The Hotline accepts donations online and in writing to NDVH, PO Box 161810, Austin TX 78716 (phone 512-794-1133). For information about corporate partnerships, creating campaigns or events, contact kcampbell@ndvh.org.

Please empower your children with the knowledge they need to stay healthy and safe.  Set the example, your home is what they know as being “normal”.

If you need to get out of your environment – please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 to find local assistance.

Teen Abuse Card
Print this out and hand it out as needed. You may save a life.

What to do if you’re not abused

Confusing header I know, but just because you’re blessed to be in a healthy relationship doesn’t mean others are to.   What if a friend or relative came to you tomorrow and asked for help because they are in a violent relationship and need assistance to save themselves and possibly their children?  What do you do?

  1. Bookmark this page so  you can reference it or send it to someone else.
  2. Open the link for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, bookmark it too.
  3. Let your fingers do the walking – Find out what is available in your area for victims of domestic violence should you need to refer someone.  Find out about local homeless shelters and food pantries as well.
  4. Write down this information twice and keep them handy.  Keep a copy for you and a copy to be handed to someone at a moment’s notice.  You never know when you’re going to run into someone that needs help or how much time you’ll have to spend with them.

Find out what you can do to help.

All organizations need help by way of donations and volunteers.  Ask what they need the most.  Here’s a link for setting up your own used cell phone drive!  We all have these lying around.

Talk to your church, youth groups and anyone who will listen about setting up workshops to teach about domestic violence and bullying.   If there’s nothing organized currently, help set it up if you can and get donation drives going.

We all need to make the world a better place and be proactive in this endeavor.  Outreach should not just be conducted by former victims or children of victims but everyone who knows that this behavior needs to be stopped.

Remember that bullying doesn’t stop on the playground, it grows into something far more damaging if it’s not stopped in its tracks.  Thanks for listening.

{{hugs}}
Maggie