Why do people see something that someone writes and assume it applies to them or go out of their way to apply it to themselves?
I’m seriously perplexed about this one. I’m finding more and more that people seem to find everything as an insult and they go out of their way to find it! Do you have any guesses? I know I don’t.
I found this funny video (below) that was shared to a blog for “mommies”. The person making the video intended it to be a tongue in cheek explanation to their single childless friends as to why she couldn’t just pop out for dinner or coffee like they used to. Since she put it on YouTube it’s gone viral. Even though my own daughter is now 23 years old, I still “remember when” and found it not only funny but relevant. I’ve known even recent friendships that have gone awry because of this very thing. Lives take on different paths, it happens.
Anyway, it’s a funny look at an overwhelming “Mommy day”. Comments I saw were outrageous! People commenting about how if you can’t handle your kids you should get rid of them! Comments about how the video was “a stab in the heart” to women who can’t have kids. Comments expressing the resentment of how pregnancy and babies are treated as celebrities in this country. Even comments disparaging the parenting & organizational skills of the woman who made the video!
I don’t understand this. Why the need for personal attacks? I know I’m using this as an example, but I think we’ve all seen behavior like this all over on practically every subject so it’s not exclusive. As far as this example, why go to a site that you’re clearly not interested in or represented by only to be offended because the content somehow makes you feel challenged about your personal life choices? I don’t know about you but I don’t have to look to find negativity in life, I work to avoid it.
I’m at a loss as to why we can’t just say “I enjoyed that” or just close the page and move on. If there is the need to post opposing comments, why do they have to be personal attacks? Why can’t we be nice anymore? As a nation we’re now regularly talking to kids about bullying on a regular basis, but I don’t see much difference in some of this behavior. I’m also going to say that going out of ones way to be offended is not being very kind to yourself. Why would you work to put yourself through that?
As a blogger, I do hope you enjoy what I write about my life, my experiences, feelings, etc… I hope we connect and find common ground and can share ideas. I look forward to comments and suggestions and I must say, I have had some really great feedback. Thank you all so much.
At the same time, if you don’t enjoy what I write, that’s okay too. I don’t like all blogs or all authors. It would be foolish to think that everyone who reads what I put out here will fall in love with it. Even Hemingway was a love him or hate him type of writer. If you read one of his books and don’t care for it, it would make sense not to read another. You wouldn’t blast him with letters telling him how badly he sucks as a human being. (Well he’s dead so I really don’t think he’d get offended, but you get the idea.)
I read a blog post just yesterday from a woman (aptly signed Mama Bear) that was an eye opener. She’s a single mom whose son works part-time at the local grocery store. When she picked him up from work she asked how his day went. He began to tell her how he had a great day, that is until some woman came through his check out line and made a point of letting him know how she noticed his acne… not a passing comment mind you; rather a very pointed, one-sided conversation – all so she could hand him her business card for her skin care products! While she may have meant well, she pushed so hard for the sale that she never considered putting a teen into a very self-conscious, awkward position as you continued to point out his personal flaws in front of other customers and co-workers. How considerate!
Just today a friend on Facebook expressed frustration with someone who had posted something rather controversial. Instead of the original poster defending their position or simply saying “my wall, my views”, the poster chose to mock those that responded with views that countered her own and then deleted them as friends. Why bait people? If you don’t want to befriend people of opposing viewpoints then don’t. Face it, we all know which friends are “with us” on certain topics and who will debate. If you don’t want to hear from them, why not just say so or unfriend them. Why make it such and antagonistic event? I really don’t get it.
So here’s to being nice and to thinking of others before we speak. I wish you the best in your day and your endeavors. I support your right to your personal decisions and I hope you have found peace with them. I hope the happiness you find in your daily life spills over to support and raise up others. If you’re unhappy, reach out. We should all be here to help, not to tear others down.
If you need to talk, message me. No seriously, I’m always happy to lend an ear and to make new connections. Please don’t tear others down. We’re all humans dealing with pain, challenges and difficulty and we all deserve to be supported and happy.