The Lost Art of Courtship & Conversation – Part 1

Courting tends to be a thing of the past in the country.


Attraction tends to outweigh the need for compatibility, which later can make a relationship harder to maintain.  Even in my own relationship history, there has only one person that I connected with as a friend before the relationship changed into something more.

For those who haven’t been following me all that long, I have separated from my husband with the intent of divorcing.  I’m rather gun shy so to speak and would rather avoid a relationship altogether than go through the dreaded “rebound”.  I’ve had enough upheaval without adding to personal pain and drama.

Recently a friend has expressed an interest in pursuing something more than our current friendship, which I am interested in as well.  Living two hours away from each other makes it very easy not to be hasty and to be able to truly find out more about each other as individuals before advancing our relationship further.  This is truly the first time someone has ever said that they’d like to get to know me better and it didn’t mean to get undressed.  The conversations have been absolutely amazing and insightful, including one evening of sitting on the phone while playing a game of online Scrabble together.  

The amazing part for me is that not only has it given me a greater insight and understanding of a dear friend, but it gives us both the option of taking a step back and still retaining the friendship if we decide this is not something we want to pursue in the long run, without ruining the friendship.  While I don’t see that happening, I find the entire concept amazing and almost surreal.  Having come of age in the early 80’s, this sadly is not how my generation generally handles relationships and dating.  I’ve literally been on less than a half-dozen pre-relationship dates in my life.

So the other day, I was surfing online when I found a list of “50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked Before”.  I grabbed them and mentioned it and was delighted that my friend was just as interested as I was.  We only got half way through the list and it was one of the most enjoyable, insightful conversations I’ve ever had.  I can truly see where services like eHarmony and really have an edge into helping couples find the right person since we’re not really skilled in the art of courtship as a society anymore.

Having such a wonderful time learning about each other has led me to add a few more of my own questions as well as to explore the internet for some additional questions as well.  Since this has turned into a rather long list, I’m going to be posting it in installments.

I encourage you to check them out and ask them of a current partner, someone you’re dating or talking to online.  If you’re not in a relationship currently, ask a good friend to make them a better friend.  Sometimes we need “dating practice” even if we’re in a relationship and after all, getting to know someone better is always a good thing.  

  • 1. What’s your favorite candle scent(s)?
  • 2. What’s your favorite kind of pizza?
  • 3. Did you ever have an imaginary friend?
  • 4. How old were you when you got married?
  • 5. How many states have you been to? Lived in?
  • 6. What’s your favorite mixed drink?
  • 7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
  • 8. How many oceans have you gone swimming in?
  • 9. How many countries have you been to?
  • 10. Can you eat with chopsticks?
  • 11. What breed(s) of dog do you like?
  • 12. What would you name your son/daughter if you had one?
  • 13. What’s your favorite kind of cereal?
  • 14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
  • 15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
  • 16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
  • 17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
  • 18. Where would you still like to travel?
  • 19. What was the last concert you went to?
  • 20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
  • 21. What’s your favorite genre of music?
  • 22. What was the first amusement park you went to?
  • 23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
  • 24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
  • 25. How long have you known your oldest friend?
  • 26. Do you know sign language?
  • 27. What foods will you not eat?
  • 28. Do you eat spicy food?
  • 29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?
  • 30. Red Lobster or Olive Garden?
  • 31. Thrift stores or yard sales?
  • 32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
  • 33. What was your nickname as a child? 
  • 34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
  • 35. Would you rather live in a rural area, in the suburbs or in a city?
  • 36. Can you drive a manual transmission car?
  • 37. Can you sleep with the TV on?
  • 38. Have you ever driven without a license?
  • 39. What’s your favorite flavor of Pop Tart?
  • 40. What was your first car?
  • 41. Have you been to the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
  • 42. What are your favorite children’s movies?
  • 43. Do you own a suit?
  • 44. What’s the last present you got?
  • 45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
  • 46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
  • 47. How do you like your steak cooked?
  • 48. What religion were you raised to practice?
  • 49. Where did you go to high school?
  • 50. The Grinch – Boris Karloff or Jim Carrey?

Let me know if you think of other questions and I will add them to the list for the follow-up posts.  Also, I’d love to hear your feedback! Post them in the comments section below.




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